Her own presence had been welcomed eagerly by all concerned. There had been some initial opposition to Igwanda's inclusion, but his renown from the first visit to Eden won him the title of logistics coordinator and senior military adviser and a place on the passenger list.The most vigorous resistance had been to little Meier; others on the roster also had children who were naturally barred. But Meiersdottir's participation in many of the holo talk shows, on which she'd often had the opportunity to emphasize the fondness the Eden natives had displayed toward the baby, won her great popular support; as she'd predicted, with public opinion firmly behind her the politically sensitive SES bureaucracy had capitulated to her demand that the family travel together.Her long-ago prediction fell short in one regard: there was no proffer of shipboard child care, though there might have been if she'd insisted, so eager was SES for her participation. That she did not would have mixed. The girl sitting next to me yelled that I was having a seizureand I quickly quieted her concern. The teacher noticed my behavior andsent me to the clinic. I called my mom, not knowing what to tell her. Isimply told her I had a panic attack. At that point I had decided tocome clean with my mom (I will NEVER tell my dad, it would kill him toknow that his son was/is a "pussy"). I told her we needed to talk inprivate. She sent my older brother to come get me. On the way home Itold him everything. By the time we got home I was sobbinguncontrollably. Later that evening I talked to my mom. I told her thesame stuff that I told my brother. I could tell that it was killing her on the inside. I felt so ashamed ofmyself and didn't know what to do. I turned to drinking over the nextfew months to try and escape the issues. After confessing to my mom, Istarted going to a psychiatrist and psychologist. They both diagnosed mewith OCD and said that my reasons for crossdressing was that myoveractive.
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